A momentous event occurred on the island today: we met another set of twins.
GASP.
Yes, it’s true. In the Pediatrician’s office. Office staff was uberexcited to orchestrate the introduction. Not only were these twins girls, they were born on the EXACT SAME DAY. Freaky deeky, huh? Two plus years on this island without seeing any other twins, they suddenly another set of female twins of the exact same age . I think the volcano goddess had a hand in this…
The twins we met today had pierced ears, like every female baby and tot on this island- except mine. I’m the holdout. I just don’t get the infant ear-piercing thing. It doesn’t seem fair to me to pierce ears on a child too young to make the decision for herself. I always cringe when I see teeny tiny babies with punctured ear lobs. A little voice in me cries why? Maybe I shouldn’t judge. Maybe it’s part of native islander cultural tradition, I don’t know. Maybe it’s just trendy. I certainly don’t have to balls to ask, so I may be pondering for a while. I do remember an island Mom suggesting I get the girls ears pierced in response to my complaining that everyone thought they were boys. A gender identity thing? Is that what it’s about?
What do you think- is it okay to pierce a baby’s ears? How young is too young?
I don’t understand it either….I’m letting Bella wait until she’s older so she can make the decision herself. But I do have several friends who’ve had their daughter’s ears pierced when they were young babies and I do think most of it has to do with the whole gender thing. People assume the baby is a boy so I guess they figure if they put earrings on the baby it would be more obvious.
How wierd that you just now met another set of twins born on the same day as your girls. It’s like you were destined to be friends with the mom or something. Unless she’s just plain strange. Then it’s like a cosmic joke or something.
Makes no sense to me either. Someone even asked me when I was getting the boys’ ears pierced *EEK*.
Personally I believe in letting them make their own decision.
I have no opinion on this one, which is RARE. ha ha!
I made the decision at 9 to get my ears pierced. My sister was 7.
Let me first mention I am THAT GIRL in health class who always passed out. Always. I have SO MANY stories of passing out in public. I first passed out in fourth grade health class when they explained menstruation. You bleed for five days?! Passed out during EVERY health class until senior year, cataract surgery in gifted class, knee surgery in biology class. I also pass out giving blood or if people talk about medical procedures too much. I’ve passed out enough that I know when it’s coming so I tell people to talk me down. I almost passed out during my c-section, causing a complete panic when I had to tell them – you need to distract me or I am going to pass out.
I got my ears pierced fine. After 6 weeks it was time to take them out and put in new ones. I took one out and as I tried to put a new one in, I passed out cold at the thought of putting something through my ear. Hit my head on the bathroom tub, caused quite a panic with my mom and grandma.
Their rule was that unless I could take them in and put them in myself, I couldn’t have them pierced. I tried again, passed out again, and they made me let the holes close up. My sister got to keep hers and she taunted me for YEARS. By the time I went to get them pierced again, scar tissue built up in my ear lobe and now my piercings are crooked.
So… I kind of wish my parents had just pierced them when I was little so that it just seemed normal to me. Then again, why do women feel the need to beautify their children at such a young age? Seeing both sides, my opinion is do whatever you want.
I just remembered I also passed out when I first tried contacts in high school. Contacts in, fell face first out of the optometrist chair.
Now that I am on the topic, at my current job a woman was telling a bunch of us about her husband’s experience with gallstones. I had to tell her to leave the room bc I was going to pass out. Another co-worker said, “I wonder what happened to you in a previous life that medical events are so traumatic to you.” SO HARD not to laugh when you are trying not to pass out.
My thinking is, don’t I have enough sh!t to do for these children without having to take care of their pierced ears?? To that end, I have decided to let my daughter get her ears pierced when we both conclude that she can take care of them without any help from me. I had my ears pierced three times because they kept closing on me as I was not very responsible about keeping earings in them. I figure it’s a very personal decision and a great way to teach her responsibility – and she can use her own money to pay for it – another great teaching moment.
I have nothing against parents who do it – just seems pointless to me.
I think choices to mutilate bodies should be made the the individual – tattoes, ear piercing, etc. My daugther will have to beg as hard as I did to get her ears pierced. But…I have an issue that Penny has crazy unibrown growing in and some hair on her upper lip. I know, very sad. And I totally emphathize because that was ME (I can’t understand why – no one else has this issue in my family). I will absolutely get her eyebrows waxed and maybe even her lip hair lasered when she is old enough. I wish my mom had done that for me. I will be blogging about this one day – I’m curious what the blogverse things about that situation. I still cringe at elementary school photos of myself.
I was searching for my GF’s blog and came across your intersting one about raising twins on a Pacific island. How interesting. I read most of your posts and they are very thoughtful and insightful.
Was reading you query about “Ear piercing infants and why?” Thought I might shed some light and answer your questions why?
I had been struggling with the issue of ear piercing for my little girl (who is now 18 months old also). Having weighed all of the options, took into consideration all of the pros and cons, and tried to see every point of view. I have come to these conclusions:
1. I still love the way it looks to have teeny little diamonds in a baby’s ear or little pearls in toddler’s ears. Suppose it is the soft side of me loving the fact earring are very feminine and clearly signal gender.
2. I like the idea of waiting for a “coming of age” moment, but I also would rather do it while she can’t remember the pain and as our ped said, mommy can care for them. She has never seen an infection in a baby or toddler where the mommy cares for them. Unlike older girls who see their
peers with earrings, they want them pierced, are apprehensive, afraid and fail to care for them properly. Our ped encouraged me to do it when mommy can care for them and gave me some suggestions for moms having their little girls ears pierced.
3. If I regret it, or if she does not like it when she is a little older, I can take them out. No harm, no foul.
4. Our ped said it have become more popular to pierce newborns, infants and little girls ears because is safer with the newer ear piercing instruments than the traditional methods of using a needle, thread by the mother or grandmother.
5. There is no “right time” for every little girl. What is right for my baby may not be right for someone else, and vice versa. Also, culturally, it is very common for infants in Spain and Latin America to have their ears pierced before leaving the hospital. In a male dominated society, baby girls with earrings signals they are loved by their family. I suppose this custom or tradition is a good one for sure.
6. I was on the fence about the whole ear piercing issue. I held up a pair of my little gold studs to my dd’s ears and she smiled and pointed to my earrings saying, “pretties.” Still unsure, Until… one day we were at a birthday party and a little blond haired, blue eyed 18 month old toddled around, and dh looked at me and said, “Her earrings are SO CUTE!” and then proceeded to talk about it the rest of the day. He wanted to pierce our dd’s ears ASAP. At that point, age 15 mos, I thought it was too late and my daughter was past the magic window of opportunity. Again, our ped came to my rescue reassuring me it was okay to do if I would care for them.
How do I feel about infant/toddler ear piercing? Well, looking at my 18 mo old and her pretty CZ earrings, I suppose maybe I should have done it as an infant. However, I’m glad I went ahead as a toddler since she looks so cute and girly. I guess there is nothing wrong with celebrating their femininity and femaleness that little pierced earrings signify on babies and little girls.
I don’t know if you are in the uncertain stage of whether to pierce your twin girls ears or not. However, I’d say if you unsure, I’d go ahead. I’d say if your’re thinking about, then your mommy intuition is telling you how cute the girls would look. Promise, both will thank you later and not suffer from anxiety and fear when they want it done as 3-4 yrs old an remember having them done.
If you’d like our ped’s tips, write me an e-mail.
Amyswor@hotmail.com
I think it’s okay for parents to choose. Infant ear-piercing is part of Bengali culture too. Circumcision, too. (Okay, that’s a Muslim thing, but whatever.)
That said, I’m not going to make the ear-piercing choice for my daughters. If they want their ears pierced, it will be their choice to make, once they’re old enough to understand the consequences and take responsibility for them.
I had my ears pierced for my seventh birthday, as a present. My Mom got lots of flack from the extended family for not having them pierced as an infant. She also got flack for not adorning me with a black kohl dot to uglify me and confuse the Evil Eye. You just can’t win.
I think it’s okay for parents to choose ear-piercings, I understand the whole cultural thing, etc etc etc… that said, I always think babies or small girls with earrings look ridiculous. Not to mention, it would be just ONE MORE THING for me to keep clean on my kid. Haha!
I got my ears pierced on the last day of 5th grade. And yes, I’m making my girls wait until that very same day in their lives to get them pierced. IF they want to…
I was allowed to pierce my ears in fourth grade. I don’t know if I’ll make my girls wait that long, but that haven’t asked for pierced ears so I’m not pushing the issue. I have enough on my plate that when the time comes they’re going have to prove they’re responsible enough to take care of their piercings themselves. (Please don’t tell my daughters that I had my belly button pierced in college. The piercing in long gone but I don’t want to fight that battle with them).
The ear-piercing bugs me too! I was not sure how common it is in other places, or if it was a southern thing (you know, start them young and all that). Like someone else said, I was allowed to get my ears pierced when I could take care of them myself. I think I will do the same for my babies.
(By the way, I’ve been reading your blog for a little while now, but I think this is my first comment!)
I don’t mind infant piercings but I have decided to wait until the girls are older and ask for ear piercings. I strongly considered having them done as infants, mine were done at 6 weeks old, but my girls frequently pull on each others ears so I figured the piercings had the potential for disaster. I don’t want my babies having torn earlobes so we will be waiting until they ask to have them done and then we will go for it!
I think ear piercings are o.k. I had my daughter’s ears pierced at the pediatricians @ 2months. after her shots. I think it looks very pretty. I recently bout $60 14kt gold hoop earings from Zales, theyre so tiny
. I get lots of compliments.
I am not a fan of ear piercings on infants OR toddlers. My mother forced me to have my ears pierced when I was 21 because she and my dad wanted to get me a pair of diamond studs as a gift
My daughter is 18 months and I’d never even consider this because I think it looks quite trashy. We live in Scotland and the only very young children I’ve ever seen with pierced ears are from pretty low-class families. That sounds terribly snobby, but it’s true. It is interesting to read the cultural differences in the responses though!
I’ve always thought it would be better to pierce a baby’s ears when they are small because they get over it quicker. I took my baby to get hers done at 6 months and they healed fast. Also, people here kept asking if she was a boy, but as soon as I got her ears done that stopped.
I suppose the decision to pierce or not is largely dominated by the local culture, but it should be a decision that you as a mother are comfortable with too. I knew one mother who wanted her baby’s ears pierced but couldn’t stand the thought of hearing her baby cry when it was done, so she had me take her baby to get it done. Everyone is different.