Here’s a Sedaris quote about undecided voters I stole from Perez Hilton. Yea, that’s right, I read Perez Hilton. No remorse.
“I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it? To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.”
Especially funny for me because I was flying around on planes yesterday, although nobody offered me anything except syrupy sugar water masquerading as passion fruit juice. Yea I drank it. No remorse. Bit of confusion though- there are thousands of passion fruits falling, rotting in the streets- why not pick some up, squeeze some juice out, and save some corn syrup and pink dye #7 for the next generation? Sigh.
I don’t think I can say I’m jet-lagged because I didn’t technically change time zones, but I’m certainly twin lagged. Twins were due for their 8 month neurological check up, which was scheduled at their birth because of their preemiehood and general itty-bittiness. The doc said they are fine, grand even, which we knew anyway. Wish we didn’t have to lumber around airport terminals all day with screeching, squirming little junglebundles of joy to find that out. No specialists on my island. To make unnecessary visits to specialists, one must hop on a plane to a different island (the fancy island in the chain) then back again to the jungle from whence they came to collapse into bed, grateful the twins are normal but oh so very tired.