Why does my cat always wait until my husband is on the volcano to start torturing lizards? Like I don’t already have my hands full with baby twins. Its been especially bad lately because I had to witness the tail throwing thing. Disgusting doesn’t even begin to cover it. My kitty is totally sadistic. He’ll toy with lizards until they throw their tails in an attempt to distract him and get away. It rarely works, but points for creativity and gumption. The tail thing is especially vile because its not like the tail just sits there on the carpet like a Cheerio after he throws it. Oh no. It starts dancing around the room trying to make the kitty chase it. I’m not even making this up. That’s how it goes, and right now I am writhing in my chair just thinking about it because its so foul. Agghhhhhh. Anyway, kitty’s only distracted for a second on two, not nearly enough time for the poor lizard to get away and he goes right back to torturing it until I can shoo him away or catch the lizard myself (gag, vomit, double-writhe) and chuck it out the window. Usually I just chase the unfortunate creature into the bookcase and say a little prayer. I’m terrified that at some point I will be picking up one of those lizards to rescue it and it will misinterpret my intentions and throw its dancing tail while I’m holding it. I would probably have a seizure or something. Gross. I can’t even think about it.
Posts Tagged ‘jungle’
Bad Kitty
Posted in 1, tagged babies, cats, cats chasing lizards, jungle, jungle life, life on a tropical island, living the the tropics, Lizards, lizards throwing tail, twins on October 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Jungle House Guests
Posted in Jungle House Guests, tagged babies, beaches, ergos, farmer's market, gestational carriers, homemade baby toys, house guests, Inca Festivals, jungle, non-toxic baby toys, Orange Lava, parenting twins, ribbons, Robot Babies, taking twins out, tropical cooking, tropics, waterfalls on July 24, 2008 | 1 Comment »
House guests are a funny thing, and jungle house guests are even funnier.
Back in New England my experiences with house guests were mixed, but often resulted with the guest or guests eating all my food and insulting my kitten. House guests are like that. Here in the jungle, its a new set of rules. In New England you can just direct people to museums, tourist activities, etc. Stick em on public transport and say ‘have fun!’ This doesn’t happen in the jungle. Public transport? You’ve got to be kidding. On this island, fun involves trekking through the jungle, braving big surf, and balancing on lava flows.
Ever since our friend T arrived, Jungledad and I have been beyond exhausted, but this is a good thing. We normally don’t go to botanical gardens, beaches, jungle hikes, waterfalls, volcanic eruptions, etc., every day. Or hardly ever. It takes so much time to get the twins ready and pack up all their paraphernalia for such expeditions, that its hard to psyche ourselves up for it, even if only once a week. Okay, once every two weeks. We normally talk ourselves into just taking them for a long walk or to the coffee shop in town. It was easy to justify because they slept through everything anyway, and were too small for those nifty baby bjorn type things (our top pic is the “ergo,” by the way), which meant we had to lug around their car seats, which weigh about 10,000 lbs each. But now they’re bigger. They stay awake for periods of time in the wide wide world. They fit in nifty kangaroo pouchey things. They are mobile.
Of course, everyday is a little extreme and obviously not sustainable when my husband goes back to work on Monday, but this insane schedule has opened our eyes to what is now possible. We hiked to not one, but two big beautiful waterfalls yesterday, and bought out the farmer’s market, and made a huge delicious tropical dinner with local ingredients. The girls loved it. They started to really look at things for the first time: banyan trees, birds of paradise, bloody great waterfalls. They were awake, interested even! It was great, not only for the twins, but also for me, because I made T carry a baby at all times, substantially lightening my load, and also affording me the opportunity to tell everyone we met that T and my husband were the “parents,” and I was just the “gestational carrier.” I might have been the only one that found it funny, but I found it funny enough for all of us! It killed me to see peoples faces. And the boys were good sports. I have my morale to keep up, after all.
Okay, gotta wrap it up, but I’ll leave you with my ‘raising twins in the jungle tip of the day!’ This is a new thing I’m starting, to amuse myself, if no one else. Here goes!
As you might expect, there are very few toy stores in the jungle (go figure!) and the one that does exist is vastly overpriced because the toys have to be shipped from the ends of the earth, to the mainland, then to our end of the earth, and man, all the toxic lead inside those toys is heavy! Fuel costs, yo. So- here’s a fun toy you can make that will keep not one, but two babies entertained for a period of time. Buy a skinny wooden dowel. Then take a knife, or other sharp implement, and carve little divots in one end of the dowel. Tie a colorful ribbon in each divot, and presto! a fun ribbon stick like those favored by medieval peasants circling maypoles.
The ribbon stick is awesome because you can wave it around your infant twins and they will instantly be distracted from their crying or eating cardboard or other unfavorable activity, and watch the ribbons with great interest. Shaking the ribbons frantically right in front of their faces, or on top of their bellies, or dragging slowing over the tops of their heads are all recommended because they result in the delighted squeals of happy babies. Also recommend letting them grab the ribbons, bite the ribbons, etc. They love it and its good for them. And you.
I’m Jungle Mom
Posted in I'm Jungle Mom, tagged family, having twins, Hemingway, Island, jungle, motherhood, parenthood, raising twins, twins on June 29, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Hi, I’m Jungle Mom. I live in a jungle on the side of a volcano in the middle of the Pacific ocean, with Jungle Twins, Jungle Husband, Jungle Cat, and a fascinating collection of uninvited arthropods. Which island? I’m not going to tell you, but I will tell you this- Hemingway once visited here. He called it a stinking dung heap and said he couldn’t wait to leave. There are days when I echo this sentiment, but mostly I would describe the island as lush, green, fragrant, beautiful, broken down, annoying, inspiring, challenging, wild, and mysterious.
Jungle Twins (pet-named Mumu and Lulu) were born on Valentines Day, 2008. They are pretty darn new to this world, and pretty darn cute. It blows my mind to think that this jungle is all they’ve ever known. I was raised in a different jungle; most people call it New England. My jungle was full of snow and red falling leaves, bitter cold and hot apple cider and people who say “wicked” a lot. I used to say “wicked” a lot, and also “jesum crow!” but these phrases were weeded out of me at 19 when I moved from New England to old England because in old England no one could understand what I was “on about.”
I met Jungle Dad in old England. He likes to say he wooed me with his designer T-shirt collection, and by designer he means Fruit of the Loom. JD had a black tee, a white tee and a red tee all emblazoned with the Fruit of the Loom logo, that he used to wear in rotation. They were the pride of his college wardrobe. I started hiding them early on in the relationship and made him shop at H&M, where the other cool London students shopped. He found cooler T-shirts to enhance his wardrobe and lure him away from the FOTL tees, but still ended up cutting the FOTLs to shreds with a pair of scissors one day because “the impulse to wear them again was too great.” It was probably for the best.
Mumu and Lulu are peacefully sleeping in the next room. They are the cutest jungle babies you ever saw, and growing so fast. Soon they will be swinging from vines. They’ll be scientists like their Daddy and build radios out of coconuts like little jungle baby MacGyvers. But for now, they’ll just sleep.

